By Ms. Shourya Gupta
We humans are the products of our heredity, environment and the experiences we have had in our lives, and this makes all of us unique individually. We all possess different shades of personality and this makes our thought process, opinion, judgement and emotions totally different from others. This individual uniqueness and differences from others sometimes gets in the way of our interpersonal relationships and causes conflicts.
Here’s how you can manage your interpersonal conflicts –
- Be a good listener for your partner
When we are stressed, we expect someone to listen to our problems and comfort us. So, whenever you see your partner stressed or pissed with something, pause, be patient and hold back your arguments and just become an active listener to them, listen to their concerns and reflect on them effectively. This will help you understand their side of the story and would help to calm both of you down.
- Do not be judgemental quickly
Remember not to jump into your own conclusions very fast in an argument. Give some time to analyze and understand your partner’s reasons for saying or doing something.
- Keep your emotions in check
It is very important to keep a check on your own emotions. Keep a track of your emotional patterns and figure out which situations make you aggressive and how you can work on your aggression in those situations.
- Let go of the unpleasant past
Unpleasant situations and arguments of the past sometimes force us from moving forward in a relationship and become the reason for conflicts and breaking down of it. Developing the habit of forgiveness is going to help you in the long run. We must realize that it is very human of us to make mistakes and everybody makes mistakes. Keeping a record of your partner’s mistakes in your memories is not going to help you in any way.
- Learn when to apologize
It is not necessary to earn the tag of a winner in every argument and keep the argument going until your partner gives up. Apologizing when it is your mistake is okay. Sometimes being compassionate and showing maturity becomes more important to close an argument and to avoid further complications.
- Always remember the good memories
Instead of always pin-pointing on the negatives, you must also keep yourself reminded of the good things that your partner has done for your happiness in the past and all the good times that you have spent together.
- Develop the habit of gratitude
Always express your gratitude towards the things that your partner does for you. Appreciate the little things. It not just helps you count your blessings and feel good about it, it also works for the emotional well-being of your partner.
- Practise assertive communication
Assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts and feelings openly in an honest, appropriate, respectful and direct way. Assertive communication helps you to express your thoughts, feelings, and opinions in a way that makes your views and needs clearly understood by your partner, without putting down their thoughts, feelings, or opinions. It involves clearly expressing your needs and opinions in a respectful language and explaining your reasons for it, in a subtle tone not in an aggressive manner.
- Engage yourself in pleasurable activities
A relationship becomes healthy only when the people are happy with themselves as an individual. So, it becomes equally important to invest in your own mental health by taking out some ‘me time’ for yourself and spend some time in your self-care, doing some pleasurable activities. This can include spending time on your hobbies, meeting your friends, going for a spa or massage session, doing a physical work out, practising mindfulness meditation, spending time with your pet, travelling, learning a new skill, etc.
